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Response #28

Dear Dr. Clive,

How can I tell if those around me are lying? I'm starting to think my girlfriend, my auxiliary girlfriend, my emergency backup girlfriend and even you are not telling me all of the truth anymore (it was their "No, really, Porkers the Dog has gone to a better place, and that better place is Sedona" that made me suspicious; I mean, wouldn't Tempe be a better choice?).

Discombobulated,

Tertiary in Tucson



Dear Tert,

Everyone lies except me. I can't be arsed to lie and then make up cover stories to bolster the lying. So if you are dealing with someone who is not, in fact, me, he or she is a right fucking fibber and will steal all your money and ejaculate all over your prized possessions.

Actually, I'll do that too, but I'll be honest about having done it.

Candidly,

Dr. Clive



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