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Response #27

Dear Dr Clive,

This extraordinarily charming older man I seduced is now head-over-heels for a young blonde rich aristocratic violent asshole who's really just using him as a catspaw in a game of chicken with his old ugly rich aristocratic violent asshole dad. The way my friend carries on about Al's "slim gilt soul," I'm afraid he'll wind up in gaol. What do I do?

Beseechingly,

R Ross

PS You can really work a white suit, man.



Dear R,

Take photographs of Mr. Blonde Poof Aristo getting buggered by some brainless rent boy and deliver said photographs to Mr. Arsehole Aristo Sr. If you can, get photographs of Mr. Arsehole Aristo Sr.'s reaction and deliver them to your friend. Make LOLMarquess macros out of them and — Wait, I forgot you haven't got the Internet yet. So fuck that bit.

Advise your friend to stay well shut of this ponce, he's toxic and a rubbish poet to boot. 'Slim gilt soul' my hairy arse.

Cordially,

Dr. Clive

PS: Obviously.



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